Just when I thought things were going pretty well with this whole co-parenting business, it seems that I've hit the proverbial brick wall. And now I'm banging my head on that brick wall over and over again.
I'm trying, really trying for the sake of Micah to work on this co-parenting situation. I really am...
But I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one in this sometimes. I am challenged to have to figure things out when his Daddy is supposed to be helping.
One day I asked him to bring a few things, i.e. medication and water, for Micah since we were both sick in the house. Micah's Daddy said he would bring these things, but never showed up! I had to bundle up my sick child and head out to go grab these things. Why can't he be more help? I understand that he has his own life to live and I respect that...but if you agree to do something for your child, either do it or say you won't be able to do it. Instead, he just doesn't show up at all!
I don't even understand how we got to this point, but here we are and now I have to figure out a new child care arrangement for Micah.
On two separate occasions less than a week apart, I have been stranded trying to find last-minute child care for Micah. Luckily, Grandma didn't have anything scheduled, otherwise I would have really been screwed.
The first time, Micah's Daddy was extremely sick and did not wake up until later on in the day. He texted me later in the day to say that he overslept and both him and Micah's brother was sick. After hearing this, I decided to keep Micah at Grandma's for the remainder of that week in order to avoid him from getting sick as well.
As you may have noticed, both Micah and I have been sick almost every month now and that's been since at least Thanksgiving. I'm just sick of being sick at this point, so I will do all I can to avoid being sick again.
The second time, Micah's Daddy just disappeared -- fell off the face of the Earth completely. That morning, I got both myself and Micah ready. I contacted him to find out what time he would be arriving - no response. I called several times and heard nothing, left messages and sent texts and still heard nothing. Now I'm getting worried...what if something happened to Micah's Daddy?
I have no clue what's going on again and now I'm in the predicament of trying to find last minute child care for my son. Once more, luckily, Grandma doesn't have anything scheduled and can watch Micah...whew!
I did not hear from Micah's Daddy until the following day...can you believe that? More than 24 hours went by before he even reached out and said Hey I'm alive. And the only reason he did that was because I sent him a text saying that I was going to put Micah into a child care facility and asked him to cover half of the costs. He responded saying that he didn't understand why I wanted to do that when he's watching Micah. What??? Isn't it clear that you are unreliable AND unpredictable?
Then, he moves into full complaining mode:
- What's wrong with you bringing him to me? Uhhhhh...I didn't know where you were. Just the night before you mentioned that you would be in North Jersey...how would I know if you weren't still up there? I'm not just going to pop up at your house.
- I'm supposed to drive back and forth, stay up and everything else. First off, you agreed to pick up and drop Micah off...but now you're complaining that you have to do that AND stay up to watch Micah. Hey, if you don't want to do it, just say so...we can agree to other arrangements, but you have to tell me this before now!
- Whatever you figure out...you're the boss. It's obvious I can't talk to you anymore, what's the point? You still don't even want to admit that you're wrong and unpredictable.
I can't keep doing this continuously. This same thing has happened at least once a month since Micah's Daddy has been watching him. I can never determine when it will happen - just one day it happens. He doesn't show up! I need consistent, predictable child care for Micah. I understand Daddy's challenges (he works nights and handles OTHER activities) but I can't be left without someone to watch Micah when I have to go to work.
Grandma may be moving to warmer weather within the next few months and I can't depend on being lucky each time until she moves. I need to have Micah in a facility that has scheduled hours and I will have no worries about his care and whether or not his Daddy is going to show up!
What do you think? Am I over-exaggerating? Or do you think I need to make the necessary steps to have consistent child care for my son?